When I stopped caring about people’s tone policing, is the day I was truly liberated.
It’s the day I started breathing much better, because I didn’t hold my physical body in anticipation of racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, classism (whiteness), because I didn’t care what society felt about me anymore.
Anticipating all these things doesn’t protect you from it happening anyway, that’s what I’ve come to learn. I’ve spoken to several black friends this week about the importance of NOT seeking validation.
Stop feeling like you have to justify every single permutation of who you are.
It’s okay if you don’t always use perfect language.
It’s okay to be upset.
It’s okay to be angry.
It’s okay to be sad.
It’s okay to be joyful in peace too (as laughing while black also invites violence)
You’re human.
It’s okay to not be perfect, because perfection is simply a thinly veiled attempt at setting whiteness as the gold standard.
It isn’t though.
You don’t owe anybody your peace of mind. Your mind is the most powerful tool of revolution going and it’s important it is not hijacked by trauma responses.
That doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge the trauma, of course. It’s a call to recognise that racism is traumatic and therefore creates a myriad of reactions, being fight, flight, fawn or freeze.
So, don’t shrink.
Pls don’t police yourself.
Yourself is the one thing you have dominion over, and so, choose to honour yourself. Choose to extend grace to yourself. Choose to see the best in yourself.
Because, the world is always going to find chinks in your armour.
It’s always going to bring the war to you.
So, pick peace for yourself.
Pick peace.
For.
Yourself.
